Always trying to improve. Here’s a thought on parenting.

If a parent gives a child a task to completed that is out of their range of sight, and the parents comes back a half-hour later and it’s not done and the child says that they “forgot” that their parent had told them to do something, it’s probably because the child didn’t immediately obey in the first place.

If children are in the practice of obeying immediately when they are in sight, knowing there will be punishment if they do not, they will be more likely to obey when out of sight.

This means when a parent tells their child to do something, there are no second chances. If the child is not immediately hopping to their feet to obey, they are actively disobeying.

Bad parenting habits that reinforce the idea that a child doesn’t have to immediately obey include negotiation (“if you obey me, you can do ____”), pleading (“come on, I really mean it”) or counting.

If a child hopped to their feet and obeyed immediately, would it be necessary to say any of these things?

Even though it sounds like a parent is issuing punishment by saying, “if you do not do X, then you won’t be allowed to do Y”, the wording creates a form of negotiation and allows for a second chance. Rather, parents should say “you are not obeying me by doing X and therefore you may not do Y.”

Thoughts for assigning a task to child to be done out of sight:
1. Give the child a task.
2. Have them repeat it back – this way, there is no excuse about not hearing or not understanding.
3. Tell them to immediately obey, and give them the time that they should be expected to complete it.