I think the acronym Cilley uses, and the fact that it spells a word meaning what happens as a result of clutter is just fabulous:
Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome
“Is your perfectionism one of the main reasons for clutter and chaos in your life and home?”
The first instinct of those of us who suffer from perfection paralysis is to say, “I like my perfectionism! I can handle everything! Hey, who is this FlyLady anyway??” But, a more than cursory look around the home will reveal stacks of items “to go through later” and a read to the next paragraph helps us to realize that we really might need her help!
“some of us won’t even start a job unless we have time to do the job correctly. So, we do nothing! Or, we are trying to do too many things at once and nothing ever gets finished so we give up and say, “What is the use?”
Then, as we read on, we are cut to the jugular – right to our deep dark experiences from childhood:
“I’ll bet you can identify with this too: when you were a child, you were told to go clean your bedroom. You would stand in the doorway with a puzzled look and your mother would fuss because you were doing nothing. Poor baby, you didn’t know where to start and your mother hand no clue what your problem was. So, you have been told many times that you are lazy! This is the last time you will be reminded of this childhood nightmare. I know you are not lazy; you just need someone to give you specific instructions to get you moving.”
By this point we say, “Yes! Yes! This is me! Dear FlyLady: Save me!”
My mom was actually good about this, though. She would always see me getting overwhelmed with a mess and would help me get started by NAMING EVERY ITEM ON THE FLOOR. I knew that it wore her out, too, because after a while she’d get so sick and tired of naming every little thing that she just called them “corncobs” (what piggies in a pig sty eat). It was so annoying to be asked to pick up “corncobs”, that I fought back by quickly picking up so as not to hear that awful word. It worked.
But, the problem is, that I’m good at making things LOOK clean, when they are not. Floors and counters may be clean, but every cabinet drawer, closet and even the attic hides items that should have been thrown out long ago.
She goes on to talk about how clutter controls our life and even has an excerpt from an email from someone who noted that clutter also steals money. When we can’t find things, because they are buried in clutter, we resort to having to buy new. This happened to me just last week with a jar of jam!
My pantry was a MESS and I thought we were out of strawberry jam (it is very likely… the children’s favorite lunch is pb&j — so I bought a new jar. No, it’s not like it would go bad — but because I thought I was in a pinch, I wasn’t able to hit a sale and didn’t have a coupon on hand and paid full price.
The $TRAWberry jam was the last $traw when I found it a few days later behind my Tempura batter mix. My pantry is now clutter free, even behind the cupboard doors.
My sink is also shining, and I now have two clean, motivating things to smile at in the morning.
“Do you see the cartoon of the FlyLady? When I was describing what the FlyLady does to the cartoonist, we told him that FlyLady was a cross between a fairy Godmother and a cheerleader with a drill sergeant personality. He pegged the FlyLady on the mark!”
Here, here!