Q: How many RIAA lawyers does it take to screw in a light blub?

A: We at the RIAA think we will never really know, as we are fairly sure that each lightbulb changed by a home internet user represents a lost lightbulb installation fee, which in turn affects not just the RIAA lawyers but the Lighting Technicians and Carpenters and all the little people involved in lightbulb production to such an extent that we now have to over-task our lawyers to combat the menace of the Open Standard Lightbulb Organizations. The pressure generated by these OSLOs, in turn, prevents us from determining the natural lawyer to lightbulb ratio. Until Congress acts to plug this fee-structure leakage with an appropriate rights management technology and enacts proper criminal penalties for circumvention of our natural right to control the exercise of the lightbulb changing task, we will be forced to file John Doe lawsuits in order to gain the suppoena power necessary to compel the lightbulb supply corporations with the names and addresses of their clearly infringing customers.