An anonymous source sent me an excellent series on the Wittenberg Gate on spiritual abuse, and the techniques that abusive leaders will use to control the congregation. I don’t know the woman who wrote the article, but she does do a good job listing the traits of manipulative leaders, including some of my favorites like being preoccupied with appearances, paranoia, and blame-shifting.

The author references many of the existing works on the subject, including The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse and Toxic Faith, but she does a good job summarizing the works and breaking down the subject.

Some interesting observations:

In abusive churches, there may be many members who understand that they are not among the favored few. They may be struggling with shame or ostracization. They may know they are not trusted. These folks may feel intimidated not to show hospitality to newcomers whom they know are being groomed for membership. You might find yourself in conversation with one of these folks at some event, feel you made a real connection, and then be disappointed that they never show you further hospitality.

Or another on that lack of debate:

In healthy churches there are differences of opinion on non-essential doctrines, even if the church teaches them one way or another. Debate is not welcome in manipulative churches. Let’s say a Sunday School teacher is teaching eschatology from a premillennial point of view. Would someone be comfortable asking a question that presented a different view? Would there be a friendly debate? Can the teacher admit that though he is convinced of his view, he could be wrong? Can he admit that those who hold another view are still his Christian brothers and sisters? In manipulative churches people with different opinions on non-essential doctrines learn to keep quiet.

And one of my favorites:

Participating in a process that could potentially remove an abusive pastor or elder from a position from which he could harm others is keeping your vow to work for the purity of your church. If you are, yourself, an officer in the church, your obligation is probably much higher to attempt to do so if that sad duty falls to you. However, before doing so, you should count the cost and plan how to protect yourself and your family from the certain retaliation and counter-attack such a move will provoke.

The only fault that I’m finding as I read the articles it’s a little weak in it’s “Presbyterianism”. Of course, the author cannot assume that every reader who is part of an abusive church situation is in a denomination in which interchurch discipline even exists. Thankfully, the PCA still does have this accountability.

Anyway, you can read the series yourself here. Make sure you read them in the right order, since they’re posted from bottom to top. For your convenience, here are links to the direct articles:

1. Controlling Personalities in the Church
2. The Warning Signs
3. The Difficulty of Seeing the Problem
4. Staying or Going: Some Considerations
5. Manipulation Techniques and Your Defenses